Dear My 16 Year Old Self


Hi you, (well me I suppose)  

This is your 28 year old self writing to you!! No it’s not a some dodgy rip off of the Time Travellers Wife (Although you should read that book cos it’s fricking good – I think it’s written soon).


There are so many things I could tell you to avoid or do differently – but I think that you’ll become who you are because of all those things so I’ll let you figure it out for yourself.


However, I will let you in on a few things:


Yes you will be able to wing it on your GCSE’s at school, but no you won’t be able to do the same for your college A-Levels – and no E does not stand for English but that is in fact your grade (oh and watch out for the TV cameras as you will appear on college programmes for about the next 6 years of your life looking like a twat, trying to appear to be happy when in fact your world is currently falling apart because you’ve just discovered your grades were shite!!)
School days really are the best ones of your lfe – I know you haven’t got much left of high school but seriously enjoy it while you can!! Oh and that guy you like – he does actually like you too – you’ll discover this years later when t’s too late if you don’t do anything about it now!! lol  

Do something about becoming a journalist or war correspondent now – it’ll be too late by the time you figure that out that Dad doesn’t have a total say in everything you do with your life. Journalism and photography would be an excellent idea – and well worth it!!! Otherwise you’ll just end up amusing your friends with blogs instead!! (However, that does mean that you will have to study hard at college to get into the course that you want to do – although watching movies and making radio programmes, and movies for 3 years isn’t a bad way to spend your university years!!)

If you don’t go to Winchester uni though then make sure you get in touch with the following people: Helen Clayton, Tamara Jenkins, Louise Newman, Natalie Hagen, Florence Reynolds and Sophie Hobson – there are a few others but you’ll discover them through this lot!!! (And no Tammy isn’t as much as a bitch as she looks when you first meet her and Flo although yes an Essex girl is not a total blonde bimbo!!)


Smoking weed really isn’t your thing – you’ll never get used to it – you’ll always be a lightweight on that score and you may as well save your money and not bother at all!! Other things well – you’ll learn that on your own!!


You’re knee is kinda buggered but don’t use that as an excuse to be lazy – otherwise you’ll spend the next decade trying to lose the weight again!! (Failing that Korea does some great diet pills cunningly disguised but I think in fact are just amphetamins!!!)


You’ll have the most amazing year of your life when you are 19. Yes you do eventually get the money from buggering your knee (Make sure you hold out for the 5k despite what anyone says as they will give it you) Yes you do blow it all on travelling but it’s so totally worth it!!


However that said, don’t let Simon Harris convince you it’s a good idea to buy gem stones in Agra in India – they are just glass and damn expensive glass at that (300 pounds!!) Becareful of the straight, flat, non-pot holed new road in Thailand – or more like don’t slam on the brakes of your motorbike when you see that cute bag in the window – the grazes will hurt for a few weeks.


No you don’t have malaria in Singapore – it’s just jetlag mixed with a hangover!! (Make sure you drink lots of tonic water or take quinine though as maleria tablets will make you vomit for the first week or 2 in India!!!


Watch out for spilled drinks on podiums in nightclubs in Oz – otherwise you will end up being the laughing stock of the Melbourne hospital when they are strapping up your incredibly swollen and buggered up ankle!!


Watch out on the luge in Rotorua – the fast tracak is dangerous – and you will again end up in hospital with a broken leg and rearranged ankle joint that will give you problems for the next 6 years (and stop you from wearing heels!!)


I know you haven’t had many accidents at all up to this point but travelling for a year creates a few opportunities!!! lol


Yes you will hate your parents – and you’ll spend the next part of a decade not talking to Mum – but it will work itself out in the end and you’ll actually get on really well – you will have to sweep a lot of things under the carpet which will annoy you, and you will have moments along the way when she drives you nuts, but it’s all good and that’s part of life!! (Oh but stop writing a diary cos she’s currently reading it!!).  

Yes dad will try and control everything in your life but you can do your own thing and I think the sooner you do the better!! (he spends your tessa on buying a new car anyway so you will have to pay for university regardless of what you do!!) He will always be quite cold and unemotional though – it’s just the way he is – but he does care about you in his own way so give him a chance.


Sara will always be your best friend in the world – and yes that Paul guy that she meets in a year or 2 is an arsehole and will be the biggest twat in the world but without him unfortunately you wouldn’t now have a cute godson. I suppose look at it as good things come out of nasty situations. Just make sure you are there for her though when she needs you, no questions asked – she’s going to need you. And yes you will have to do some strange things on her behalf but that’s what friends are for – and you will have fun laughing about it in years to come.


You’ll meet some great people along the way though – friends from all over the world and you’ll become almost like family at times!!


You’ll have issues with guys for most of your life – I think the first question you should implement from this point forward is “Are you married, engaged, with girlfriend or have kids??” If the answer to this is yes – then seriously run the other way – or ask this even before they ask you out!!


Also the cute ones although damn good at the time, will always end up hurting you!! Don’t be so damn picky as you’ll some great guys slip through the loop otherwise in your search for perfection which to be honest, I don’t think exists!!


Although you will have a lot of fun, you won’t make guys fall in love with you just because you slept with them!! Try holding out a lot more than you do and then you’ll find out a lot quicker if they are genuine or not!! (Oh and you’ll lose your virginity in about a year or two’s time so don’t fret too much – and the first time will be shite – but will be a good story to tell for years to come!! lol)


You now live in NZ – yes I know you swear that you’ll never ever go back to living there but you do eventually. You even become a teacher for a few years in Korea!! And you’ll even start to want to have kids of your own!!!


Don’t bother to ever buy a packet of cigarettes – in fact don’t bother smoking at all again!!! You’ll spend the next decade smoking and although you’ll enjoy it at times you’ll wanna give it up and it will be HARD!!! So quit whilst you’re ahead and not hooked!! (Although I am currently on day 6 of not smoking so fingers crossed I kick the habbit this time)
Keep up with the french speaking – you’ll come to miss it when you’re older and want to become better at it again (and even want to live in the south of France). Also try and learn as much Italian off Manny as you can – and try and visit there when you are nearby in the UK as it costs a fortune from NZ!!!
Have singing lessons, learn to play the guitar and the piano – you’ll always wish you did otherwise!! Also learn how to latin dance properly – will come in handy in Korea believe me!!
Learn how to scuba dive as early as you can – it’s one of the best things you discover and you’ll wish you discovered it sooner!! Try and save up for a dry suit though as you’re going to go ice diving this September hopefully and I have a feeling that the cold will not be enjoyable!!


Well that’s all I can think of to tell you for the time being except:


Have fun, be yourself, laugh lots, cry lots, make as many friends as you can, and just have a bloody good time enjoying your life!!!


Don’t stress too much about not having a career as such, or a house (although you might want to invest in one of those when the market is cheap)


Oh and remember Big Wednesday for draw number 129 – wednesday 8th April 2008 – 16, 17, 25, 27, 36, 42 and Tails. Although I may get back to you tomorrow on that one as it’s just jackpotted further to include a $500k bach!!!
Take care and just remember to enjoy life and have as much as possible.


Me xx




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1 Comment

  • Reply
    Christina Gmyr
    April 19, 2013 at 12:43 am

    This was the cutest post idea ever! I LOL’d more than a few times. It’s always 20/20 in hindsight right?! Cheers 🙂

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